|Photo by Alanna Martin|
At the moment, “letting go” looks like giving up control, trusting my Master to lead. For the last few months I have been fostering a dog (who's still waiting for his “forever home”) and wow, has it been an adventure! Riley is a coonhound+Aussie cattle dog who was a stray—used to wandering about, wherever his nose takes him. He wants so badly to be free to chase squirrels and rabbits which is certainly quite natural to his breed, but of course, he is being “trained” and this is not allowed. Besides, Riley doesn't really get the dangers of vehicles, so letting him run free in town would not be wise. Riley will pull and pull, even though it hurts his neck, and I will hold him back, as difficult as it is to do so. Sometimes he will try to run on ahead, sometimes he will go off to the side (especially to sniff people's recycling bins) and sometimes he will lag behind trying to scavenge something nasty from the earth that will probably make him sick. I often feel very frustrated and wish he would just listen more; his pulling can even hurt me, especially if we're going down a slippery hill or if he's all tangled around me. But then there are times, especially lately since he knows and trusts me more, when he will listen, when he will trot along beside me, ignoring all of the tempting things off in the distance. In these times I will tell him what a good boy he is and sometimes even give him treats.
I don't really know if God gets frustrated with me when I continually try to run on ahead, take control or create my own way. I do know that His words patiently continue to reach me and shed some light on the path.
“I could hold on to who I am and never let You change me from the inside...but You have called me higher, You have called me deeper and I'll go where You will lead me, Lord.” (by All Sons and Daughters, but here's my little cover version...)Called Me Higher by Chris Whitler